


In the Dark of the Night

by SammyOliviaWatson



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 17:41:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8499187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SammyOliviaWatson/pseuds/SammyOliviaWatson
Summary: What could have happened if Serena had decided to go to Bernie's on the evening of that fateful day of 'Life in the Freezer'.Also there's ballroom dancing involved.





	1. Coffee and Jason

**Author's Note:**

> Many many many great thanks to Sev, who is a wonderful person and an amazing beta-reader and a general support.  
> Also thanks to inspired-scribbler on Tumblr, who helped soothe my worries.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr under sammyoliviawatson or strongnhotisallicareabout. Come talk to me! =)
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> The beginning is set right before the events of 'Life in the Freezer'.

Bernie looked at Serena out of the corner of her eye. Knowing what they had shared last night made her infinitely happy. _No, not what you think dear readers!_ They have had a date. Have they had a date? Both of them would like to be able to call it a date, but none of them were sure if the other would be happy with this denomination of their evening. Well- it had included a lot of wine, white and dry for Bernie, Shiraz for Serena, heavy flirting on both parts and a lot of ‘accidental’ slight touches. But had it been a date? They had not kissed goodnight, though they would have liked to, but it had not been a date.

When Bernie saw Serena out of the corner in her eye (she would be able to spot her in any crowd) while standing in line at Pulses for a cup of coffee, her heart jumped simultaneously in fear and in happiness. Had it been a date? She wanted Serena but she was scared, so scared. She looked at her and could not help admiring this woman who had had so much thrown at her in the course of her life, but was standing there, smiling at Bernie of all people, still smiling, still feeling, and not at all bitter. She was so strong. Serena Campbell might be the strongest and funniest person she had ever had the good fortune of knowing.

“Good morning,” Serena smiled at her.

She smiled back. “Good morning.”

“How have you slept after last night?” The brown-haired woman asked, waiting with Bernie for her coffee.

“Oh, yes, in fact-“ Hanssen was approaching and interrupted her thoughts. “What does he want?”

“Without coffee my telepathic abilities have not woken up yet,” Serena made her laugh.

“Ms Wolfe, if you could spare a moment, I would like a word.”

“Uh well of course. Now?” Bernie asked, not quite wanting to leave the cozy presence of her woman in the red blouse.

“If you have other important plans, you can meet me later in my office.” He looked a tad annoyed at her boldness.

“Um no it’s okay. That won’t be necessary,” Bernie back-paddled, reality slowly catching up with her.

“I believe you would prefer to hear this somewhere with fewer ears around,” Hanssen suggested. After the disaster with the divorce papers and the mess that ensued on the ward she did not want to risk anything like it again, she had experienced enough of the rumour mill of AAU.

They moved to a quieter corner of Pulses, not without Bernie shooting Serena an apologetic look. Serena smiled in response, shrugged and moved to get herself a cup of coffee.

Hanssen began talking, forcing her attention back on him.

“I recently received a notice from an old friend and esteemed colleague of mine and he gave me this.” He pulled a folder out of his briefcase. “I thought this might be a great chance for you.”

She looked at it, still not quite understanding what he was proposing.

“I have suggested you for this secondment. They are building a new specialist Trauma unit in Kiev, my old friend doctor Romanco has told me about it.”

“Ukraine?” Bernie repeated, deep in thought, looking at all the reasons why she shouldn’t want to do this, currently paying for her coffee.

“Yes, they said it would be fully operational by the end of the year,” he said and handed her the folder. “This is the proposal.”

Bernie looked at it, almost considering it by now. It was a really good proposal. “Trauma surgery is something of a speciality of theirs, but this unit would be the first of its kind.”

“Huh.” Bernie replied, considering this amazing proposal. This was the opportunity she had always waited for, the promotion and recognition she had always craved. It would give her adrenaline rushes once more. She did not want to admit it to herself, but adapting to civil life was hard after so many years in the army. She could never go back to the army, that chapter of her life had been closed due to her own incompetence. But if she went to the Ukraine… there she could live out her full potential, she could actually save lives; she would be so much more helpful than here in Holby. Here half her job was paperwork, another quarter talking to patients. She was not used to patients that were still in a state to be able to tell her what’s wrong with them. She was used to carving bullets out of bodies and sewing limbs back together and she missed this if the was honest. And this secondment was the answer to her silent pleas. If she agreed to go, she would once more have the chance of actually saving lives, of seeing violently damaged bodies and to attempt the most risky surgeries without anyone objecting but thanking her instead. This was what she had wanted.

“This looks incredible,” she uttered. Her gaze fell on Serena who had been watching them for quite some time, now fixing her coffee with a tad bit of sugar, reminding her of what she would be leaving behind.

“But the trauma unit on AAU is only just up and running,” she weakly attempted to find a sensible argument against the proposal that had nothing to do with her personal life.

“Working like a well-oiled machine by all accounts.” He deflected her argument easily.

She glanced at Serena again who was obviously waiting for her. “I’m not sure if I’d want to be away for this long.” She looked at the proposal again. “Can I think about it?”

“Yes, of course.” Hanssen acceded, already reaching for his briefcase and abandoning his seat. “You know where to find me.”

Serena was already making her way over to Bernie, holding her cup of coffee in one hand and a chocolate croissant dangling from her other. Bernie briefly sympathized with the croissant.

“It’s medicinal and I blame you,” Serena jokingly accused her, indicating she meant the pastry still hanging defenselessly in her hand with her raised eyebrow.

Bernie acted slightly offended but felt much happier than just a moment ago. “I only suggested we go out for a quick bite after a long shift,” she defended herself.

“At an Italian restaurant with an extensive wine list?” The eyebrow still hadn’t lowered, but now Serena’s inner amusement was much more apparent.

“You could have ordered by the glass,” Bernie shot back, having fun with this game but still starting to move to where they inevitably had to end up ( _on AAU dear reader! Not… oh I’ll just stop talking_ ).

“Oh, I’m sorry. Serena Campbell, have we met?” She held out her hand ironically, all the while smiling warmly.

Bernie took it, sniggering, she felt like the warmth of Serena’s hand reaching into her heart and warming her from inside. She looked at her a slight moment too long, a slight bit too meaningful, so it had been a date? And Serena cast her eyes down, suddenly uncomfortable, probably realizing that they had been flirting. Had they been flirting?

Bernie’s smile died. 

Serena covered this moment that might have meant something as she always did - with business. “Did you find out what Hanssen wanted?”

“Uh, yeah,” she eloquently answered and handed Serena the folder, very uncomfortable in her own skin but still hoping that she might tell her to stay for this… relationship, if she may call what was between them a relationship.

Serena looked at it, realizing what it might mean and looked back at Bernie, a frightened look in her eye.

The fear caught on to Bernie, she suddenly understood that it had been a date, but now the question was whether she had wanted it to be a date. She was frightened herself, by the possibility of a real, meaningful relationship, this was happening so fast, too fast. Was this what it was supposed to feel like? Not knowing what to do with her face and the situation and Serena’s honest emotions written all over her face, she fled.

\---                                                                                                                            ---

_Cue events of Life in the Freezer. If you don’t remember (how dare you) go and watch wonderful NatsAshes ‘s or Serena Campbell's  video on Youtube right now!_

 

When Serena came home that day her shoulders were slumped and her footfall was heavy. Jason immediately sensed that something was wrong.

“What happened, Auntie Serena?” he asked, materialising in their hallway.

Serena, usually nothing but gentle and if she wasn’t able to be genuinely gentle then at least smiling with Jason, could not muster a reply without breaking into tears, so she hung her coat and took off her shoes, slipping into her Birkenstock slippers that comforted her this day only very little.

“Are you okay?” Jason gently pushed.

Serena felt compelled to answer. “I…” she could not lie this day. “No, I’m not.”

“Do you – do you want a tea?” Jason tried to help.

That put a slight smile on our favorite auntie’s face. “Actually, Jason, that would be very lovely. Thank you very much.”

Her heart a little lighter at Jason’s care, she sat down in their living room and closed her eyes. The next thing she knew was a quiet “Auntie Serena” and a hot cup of tea being shoved into her hands.

“I have read in the New Scientist that if someone is upset, tea and talking through things helps most. So what is the problem?”

Serena burst into tears at the love she received from her nephew and from the inner pressure that had built up all day.

“Bernie…” she weeped, “to Ukraine. She just left and I… told her...” the rest of her sentence was lost in violent sobs.

Jason handed her silently a tissue, drawn from his pocket.

“Tell me everything in order,” he demanded.

And so she did.

After three more cups of tea, an hour of talking and one interruption for a timely dinner, she was done.

“But it’s simple, really,” Jason concluded “why don’t you just go and talk to her? If you explain yourself as well as you explained everything to me, then she will surely understand.”

“But…”Serena wanted to ask if it really was that simple, but it was worth a try, wasn’t it? Her pride had flown out of the window the moment she begged Bernie in the middle of AAU that they could meet halfway anyways. What did she have to lose?

So she answered: “Thank you Jason, I will actually do that. That is a splendid idea.”

“I’ll be okay on my own tonight, you go and talk everything out with her,” he dispelled all doubts his aunt might have had.

She tenderly kissed him on his forehead, then grabbed her coat and keys and dashed out into the cold night.


	2. In the Dark of the Night

 

This night Bernie wanted to do nothing but curl up and never move again. She had fucked up big time and there was no way she could ever repair it. She had had this one shot at a truly happy relationship and she had thrown it away. For what? Oh well, a very good job opportunity, but a job, even this job could never fulfil her in a way that a happy relationship could.

Her things were all packed already, she was ready to leave in the morning. Her flight was at 10 o’clock, but now there was truly nothing left to do; her flat as well as her marriage were cancelled and cleaned out, her children were not talking to her, and her best friend, her only friend that she had inevitably developed feelings for, she had pushed away as far as possible. What was wrong with her? Every relationship that she had had a chance at having she had fucked up herself. She could never have a happy relationship; she destroyed everyone who ever fell for her. Bernie was lying on her bed next to the open suitcase, paralyzed. She did not even deserve to cry, she did not deserve that small relief that letting her tears spill over would allow her. Then the doorbell rang.

She was instantly furious at the person who had dared to interrupt Major Berenice Wolfe in a session of self-pity that was by all means well-deserved and much needed; even though she knew she would feel sorry for them when she was finished. Doubtlessly another thing added to her long list of regrets.

She opened the door, a murderous look clouding her face but the moment she saw who it was she turned around and hid her face, in fear her emotions could show.

“Bernie.” Serena said softly, tentatively reaching out to touch her shoulder, but not daring to make that step into Bernie’s personal space.

“May I come in?” She enquired.

Still unable to face her, Bernie moved along the hall as an answer, leaving the door open for Serena to follow her in.

Serena carefully closed it and creeped behind Bernie, the rug muffled every sound her footsteps would have made.

Bernie folded her body as small as humanly possible in her favourite chair, leaving Serena to pick a seat for herself.

Serena sat down and let silence reign the next few moments. It was dark in Bernie’s flat, the only lights were the street lights that shone through the partially closed blinds, half-illuminating Bernie’s shape with her face hidden between her knees, a cascade of her locks falling over them and obstructing any chance Serena may have had at seeing her face.

Serena began to speak.

“Listen, I… I’m sorry,” she brought out, pausing a moment and collecting her thoughts.

“I did not want to put any pressure on you. Hell, I know that this secondment is your dream job. But I also wanted to let you know that the fact that the hospital is better off with you is not the only reason I want you to stay.”

She tried to find Bernie’s eyes, but there was nothing to be seen behind her knees; Bernie hadn’t moved. She breathed out and bravely continued bare her heart .

“I want to have you by my side not only as the more than very competent surgeon you are, but also for us to be able to figure out what this relationship is supposed to mean, what we want us to be.”

She breathed. Jason had made it all sound so easy, but she had never been good at communicating her feelings, even though she had broken her record more than once today already. Time to do it again.

“I do know that I would miss you terribly,” she laughed, continuing with much more gravity: “I do not want to lose you.”

Her voice was shaking, but she couldn’t and more importantly didn’t want to stop. “I know that I have fallen in love with you. I don’t know what you feel, but I know that you care about me, about not hurting me, you have told me as much earlier today. It’s just that…” she inhaled, “I guess I know that you will leave, but I could not bear you leaving with us being on bad terms.”

She waited for a response and when nothing came, she asked: “Bernie?” again. There was still no reaction at all and she was worried, so she moved a little closer.

Bernie had not moved her pose, but now Serena noticed that she was shaking and then Bernie let out an almost inhuman sounding sob of such sadness that reverberated in Serena’s very soul.

Serena moved to her side, kneeling down, now at face value with Bernie, shyly placing a hand on her shoulder, not sure if she would be welcome.

“I don’t expect anything from you. If you tell me to leave, I will. Of course I would like you to tell me what’s going on in your mind, but I would never force you.”

Bernie was rocking in her place, she was shaking violently. Taking that as some kind of an answer, Serena engulfed her in her arms. Bernie opened up and grabbed the front of Serena’s blouse, effectively hauling her on top of her and trapping her in the ring of her arms, holding onto her as if she would never want to let her go.

Serena was glad albeit uncomfortable, but in that particular moment she couldn’t care less. Bernie had decided to open up and craved physical contact. She would give her everything she needed, however much it would hurt. She cradled the head that Bernie had hid in the cove between Serena’s head and her collarbone, Serena could feel the wetness of her tears and her heart ached even more for her fellow surgeon.

“It’s okay,” Serena reassured both of them.

“It’ll be ok,” she disclosed with confidence, believing her own words.

They stayed in that pose until Bernie was too tired to hold on and Serena’s joints ached from the awkward position.

“We need to move.” Bernie croaked, having spoken for the first time in hours after her arms had fallen from Serena’s back on their own accord.

Serena unskillfully maneuvered herself out of Bernie’s lap onto the much more spacious couch.

“Um,” Serena cleared her throat. “Do you have a blanket?”

Bernie nodded, still reluctant to speak.

Sensing Bernie’s feeling of abandonment from the loss of physical contact, she grabbed her hand and let herself be dragged to the bedroom where the only blanket that Bernie currently possessed was. Bernie pointed to the bed with her free hand.

Serena took in what she could see with the little light that was there. The whole room was bare of personal belonging bar the unclosed suitcase that was draped over the bed.

“May I move your suitcase to the floor?” Serena seeked affirmation.

Bernie nodded silently, an unworldly shimmer in her eyes.

Serena moved the suitcase out of the way and turned around. Bernie stood forlornly in her own doorway, not knowing what to do with herself, much less what to do in this situation.

Serena reached for her hand but did not hesitate this time. She cradled it in her hands, trying to reach out to much more than just Bernie’s hand.

“It’s okay,” she repeated.

Bernie knew she craved Serena’s contact and affirmation but she could not bring herself to seek for what she did not believe she deserved. How could Serena love her? It would only destroy her in the end.

Serena just wrapped her arms around Bernie as if she had sensed what Bernie was thinking and Bernie allowed herself to hug her back.

After a few moments Serena half-joked: “I’d still like that blanket.”

Bernie smiled into her shoulder and then moved towards the general direction of the blanket. Serena made sure that they didn’t hurt themselves in the process.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Bernie remembered: “Shoes.” She bent down to take off her slippers, but Serena was faster, tenderly removing the hideous Adidas flip-flops, worshipping the elegant feet that were revealed with the gentle stroke of her hands. The feet were elegant but experienced, like Bernie herself. She allowed herself to run her hands along Bernie’s sole, extracting a shiver from its owner.

The way that Serena cherished her feet made Bernie’s eyes spill over silently, Bernie realized that this was real, that Serena was real, that this was happening and that Serena wanted her in her life and that she would be gone in the morning.

Serena quickly disposed of her own shoes and joined Bernie, crawling past her towards the centre of the bed and pulling her along, lining their bodies up.

Serena pulled the blankets over them, not knowing how long they would stay like this.

Serena almost missed the moment Bernie began to speak, so quietly was she speaking.

“I don’t hate you.” She began. “I am very scared.” Her voice broke, she felt like crying again, but she was too worn out and this moment was too important. Serena let her speak and waited patiently.

“I… have never had a happy relationship for long. Shortly after I was married, after the initial infatuation had worn off, I realized that I did not love Marcus. In hindsight I’m not sure if I have ever loved him, but at the time I was at least in love with the concept of leading a happy relationship. But I was pregnant and could not abandon my child, I had experienced enough abandonment not to be able to do that. So I delivered Cameron, nursing him for six months and then I signed up for the army because I could not bear to pretend to love my husband anymore. There it was excitement and adrenaline and so busy that I had almost never time to think about what had happened or what I have done by leaving my family. But then I was on leave, you’re only allowed to serve for three years straight and I had to go back home. There was a child who barely remembered me and a husband that I had done my best to forget. I wanted Cameron and the pretence of a happy family even though I did not want Marcus so we tried to repair our family the only way we knew: I got pregnant again. But this time it was worse, I knew already what was coming and I almost felt like it was a mistake, but I was unable to admit it because it would mean I had to leave my family again. I loved my children, Cameron and Charlotte, I loved them, I still love them, but I am not cut for civilian life. Or maybe I’m not cut for long-lasting relationships, I don’t know. So I fled again shortly after Charlotte was born. I don’t know if Marcus ever forgave me, but now it doesn’t matter anymore. I know my children have not fully forgiven me for not being around. It hurt not being there for them, of course it hurt, but I could not bear Marcus’ touches anymore, and how would I explain to him that I did not want him to touch me? So I was gone for three years and then back and then gone for three years and so on.”

She paused, taking a moment to collect her thoughts. Serena lightly caressed her arm. It gave Bernie the strength to continue.

“And then I met Alex.” Serena tensed but did not say anything. “She was out and outspoken and I was intrigued by everything she was and represented. She noticed my stares that were just ever slightly too long to be considered friendly and confronted me one night. Well- she kissed me and I kissed back. It felt like my first kiss, Marcus’ kisses had never felt like this, it lit a fire in me that I had never known.” Serena forced herself to relax. She had to listen to this, it was important to Bernie, hell, it was important to her to know about Bernie’s life.

“I won’t go into details but I made her keep it secret, she had a big problem with that. But then I got injured and was forced to go back and I was confronted with my failed marriage once more. I was so desperate to have a happy relationship with Marcus, now that I knew what that felt like, that I stayed. Alex never understood and that was the end of this story.”

The only sounds in the room were the slight ruffling sound that the blanket made when they breathed.

“And now I’m here and every relationship I’ve ever had has failed and I don’t know why I’m not able to lead a happy relationship. I don’t deserve you, Serena.”

At that Serena pulled Bernie into her arms, her chest to Bernie’s back, their legs entwined.

She comfortingly caressed every part of the blonde woman she could reach, wanting Bernie to never think those thoughts again.

“That’s not true.” Serena said.

Bernie said nothing. But after a few heartbeats, she turned around and let herself lie in Serena’s arms.

“But how do you feel about me?” Serena whispered into Bernie’s hair, her whole body strung tight in anticipation of her answer.

“I want to love you.” Bernie answered, raising her head to search for Serena’s eyes in the darkness. “But I am not brave enough. Forgive me.”

Serena’s tears fell silently and with them the bud of hope she had had, wetting the pillow beneath her head.

“I need to leave. I need to figure this all out. When I said that I want you to have time to be able to figure it out, I was talking about myself.”

Silence enveloped them again. Serena felt helpless, wanted to lash out, but there was nothing to lash out at, the woman she loved lay in her arms, she had just told her that she did not love her. Her heart lay bare.

But then Bernie moved, surprising Serena and wrapping her arms around Serena’s middle, establishing as much physical contact as possible. Bernie’s smell filling her nose, calming her and raising her heart.

This small movement, the fact that Bernie had reached out gave her the confidence to accept this and it gave her hope for the future.

Serena could feel Bernie’s chest rising and falling, she could feel her heartbeat and it made her heart beat faster. She did not dare move and eventually they fell asleep, not because they wanted to but because the day had been too long and they were exhausted.

 


	3. On the Dancefloor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two months later

On the flight back Bernie’s heart rate was elevated the whole time. Our favourite couple had not had any contact, because that was what they had agreed on, but several times Bernie had almost called the number she had now memorized.

It was none the different for Serena, at least the almost calling part, but the only thing that had changed for her was that she was now even surer that she wanted to have this relationship with Bernie. She had missed her every day, every time she had entered their shared office she was reminded that something, that her blonde woman was missing from it. She had counted down the days until that fateful day when Bernie would return, at the same time dreading it for Bernie might have decided that she did not want her, this relationship after all, but still she missed her presence in all aspects of her life, just having her around would make everything more bearable. Even if they would painfully remain friends.

The time away from it all had given Bernie the space she had needed to figure out herself, her sexuality, her identity and her heart.

Doctor Ivenko Romanov, Hanssen’s old friend, was a very outspoken gay man and she had spent more than one night drunkenly pouring out her heart to him and his partner. They were lovely people and they gave her hope that this… situation she might have with Serena might work out after all. It had all been very hard at first; being away from the place she had only just begun to feel at home in, far away from the only sunshine in her life, she had arrived in Kiev. But Ivenco had taken her immediately under his wing. She had tried to remain distant, to keep to herself, but Ukrainian people were all very warm, so very different from the famous British reserve, it had truly been impossible not to become involved and make friends. The working part had been as amazing as she had hoped it would be, even more amazing if she was honest and sewing all those people back together, saving countless lives and being needed had done wonders to her self-esteem. At Holby she had almost had forgotten that she was a trained trauma surgeon, tested again and again on the battlefield. Holby was very dull… except for a certain brunette consultant surgeon…

This night was the Yule Ball of Holby, a charity event that took place every year and every year the most famous stories that circulated around Holby happened there.

Serena had spent about an hour and a half preparing for this, putting on makeup, showering, making the dress fit around her body – she had actually bought a new dress for this year’s ball. Bernie would be back tonight and that was all she had been able to think about since… yesterday night actually, but the frequency she had appeared in her thoughts had multiplied since this afternoon. She wondered how Bernie had been, what she would be thinking, if her mind had changed, if the hope that Serena’s heart swelled with was unjustified and reckless. She thought about how she would look tonight (in half an hour); it didn’t bear thinking about.

“Auntie Serena, are you finished yet in the bathroom?” Jason’s voice boomed through the confined space. It calmed her to hear his familiar voice, he was the steady rock of logic reasoning in her life.

“I need fifteen more minutes if that is okay with you,” she shouted back.

“I know, you told me when you would be done, but you’ve stopped singing and I was wondering why,” his voice was much nearer now.

Serena wrapped a towel around her body and stepped outside to face her nephew.

“I… I was deep in thought,” she explained.

“What were you thinking about?” Jason said in that tone of voice that clearly told her that she was now a subject of his research.

“I… I was thinking about Bernie. I’ll be seeing her at the ball for the first time since she went to Kiev,” she sighed the truth. She could have lied, Jason wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference but frankly, she didn’t see the point.

“Oh,” he replied, staring into the distance. Then he looked back to Serena.

“Well then good luck tonight,” he smiled, “I like your singing by the way.”

Serena laughed. It relaxed muscles in her abdomen that she hadn’t even known were tense.

“Thank you,” she now genuinely smiled at the nephew she felt most fortunate to have.

“Oh you’re welcome,” he said, wandering off, an obviously smug grin on his lips.

She shook her head and, now much more relaxed, got back to preparing her body for the yearly battle that was the Holby Yule Ball.

 

\---                                                                                                                                ---

 

The moment Serena saw Bernie enter she felt that the world must have stopped turning just to be able to take a good look at her, so breathtakingly gorgeous was she.

She had put her hair up, her pony had grown out and was bound back with the other hair, the odd strand of gold framing her face. She was wearing a dress, but oh! What a dress. Serena forgot how to breathe.

Bernie looked around, obviously searching the room for someone, then she found Serena and locked eyes with her. Everybody that happened to look in the general direction of our big macho army medic and our general consultant surgeon could feel the tension rising with every step that Bernie took towards Serena. The short-haired woman in the black dress believed that Bernie purposefully swayed her hips more than necessary just to rile her up. And when she finally, finally stood in front of Serena, she extended her bare hand and asked: “May I have this dance, Ms Campbell?”

It was all Serena could do not to moan at the sound, the timbre, the intonation of Bernie’s voice in these words, so she nodded and stood up in one swift move, placing her hand in Bernie’s.

Anyone who watched them saw that there was a lot more going on in that moment than two friends dancing together, even best friends, the sexual undertone was tangible.

“Do you know how to ballroom dance?” Bernie remembered to ask halfway towards the centre of the assigned dancing area. Serena squeezed her partner’s hand in an answer, her voice would give her away.

Bernie was so sure of herself in this moment, on this dancefloor, and it made Serena’s knees go weak and made her melt into her BMAM’S arms.

Bernie moved them into dancing position, naturally taking the lead in this moment. The first dance the DJ played was a quickstep and Bernie swirled them around, holding Serena securely in her arms, every time any part of them accidently touched ( _and that’s a lot of times when two women are dancing quickstep together, trust me, I know_ ) sent an acute spark through her body, making her more away of all the places they were joint and all the places they weren’t and all the places she would like them to be joint in. ( _Yes you read that right and it means what you think it means._ )

And then the song ended and they were breathing heavily and their hearts were pounding fast and they were glowing with happiness and looked at each other for the first time since they had begun to dance, Bernie had had to look over Serena’s shoulder to make sure that they would not bump into any other dancing couple. Their matching grins were threatening to split their faces.

And then the next song started. It was a Tango. They immediately knew what that meant and that they would be putting on a show but they did not care, they needed this, this Tango was the affirmation that they were something, that they were together in this moment, that they were alive and that they wanted each other.

They embraced once more and prepared themselves physically and mentally for the most sensual dance that could be done outside of the bedroom.

Bernie straightened her posture and prepared to lead them in this dance, leaving Serena with little choice but to follow suit. Feeling almost promiscuous, but knowing that this was the right way to position their bodies, she joint their hips, Serena unable to contain a sharp gasp at the contact. Bernie wanted to kiss her so badly for that but she knew that they hadn’t talked and that all of Holby was watching them, so she managed to restrain herself but not by much. And they had not even started dancing yet! ( _ooooohhh there’s more to come!_ )

The next beat Bernie started moving and danced the basic step and as it is in Tango, this action moved her right leg between Serena’s thighs, making Serena whisper half scandalized, half moaning and wanting more “Bernie!” Serena closed her eyes, making Bernie’s heart swell with love for the woman in her arms, testing her self-restraint even more. But they kept dancing, mesmerizing everyone who watched them. This dance was the last straw for Bernie, the last reason she needed, her affirmation that this was real, that she wanted Serena, for with every step, with every move that made their hips slide against each other, she heard Serena moan quietly. It took all that Bernie had not to take Serena right then and there, so on the last note, she attempted a successful drop, leaving Serena literally hanging in the air, in her arms, with nothing stopping her from falling to the floor but Bernie’s strong arms. Her back was bent, and Bernie was done with self-restraint so she pressed her lips to Serena’s.

Serena remembered where they were and pulled Bernie by her hand to some place where they would not be observed.

Our brunette cleared her throat in an attempt to clear her mind from images of the blonde woman who was still holding her hand. It did not work.

“Let’s go somewhere where we can talk,” she suggested.

“Alright,” Bernie mindlessly agreed, her mind still replaying the sounds that Serena had made on the dancefloor.

Serena managed to find a balcony that was not closed to the public and was additionally also not occupied by smokers.

Outside, the cold air finally managed what neither of them had had any chance of managing themselves before: Clearing their heads after that dance. They silently gazed at the projecting garden that was spread out beneath them and lit up in all the right places, creating a magical romantic atmosphere.

“So you’re finally back,” Serena smartly observed.

“I had noticed,” Bernie smirkingly replied, breaking the tension, the corners of both their mouths twitching in amusement.

“Yes I am.” She continued, more serious now.

“It was… a good experience, but I guess that is not what you want to hear right now. I’ll tell you all about it sometime.” Serena’s heart warmed at the promise conveyed.

“I have realized some things. For one I have realized that my relationship with Marcus was bound to fail, because I…” she took a deep breath, “am… oh god why am I so scared?”

“It’s okay,” Serena comforted her, stroking her arm. “You don’t have to say it if you don’t want to.”

“Okay,” Bernie nodded and took a deep breath. “Well. I now know that I do love you. I want us to have this, to be in a relationship.”

Serena quietly warned “Bernie,” which made the blonde woman in the red dress turn, just as Serena had anticipated – now she was able to place a sound kiss on Bernie’s lips.

“Come ‘ere,” Bernie mumbled before pulling her counterpart flush against her body and giving her a good snog. When they parted for air, Serena gasped: “Home. Now;” with an urgency that had been unknown to her until this moment. Bernie grasped her hand and pulled her towards the exit.

The rest of the AAU staff, hell, the rest of Holby took one good long look at them and knew now, if they had not realized after the Tango, exactly why they were leaving, but in that moment neither of them had it in them to bring up enough rational thought to care.

They left the room hand in hand at a pace that could be described as running and when they did not have to look to the floor to avoid falling they were beaming at each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear unassuming reader, in case you don’t know much about ballroom dancing I wanted to let you know that Tango is the most sexually charged dance. Many dances are somewhat sexually charged, but Tango- oh boy. It involves a lot of sharp, abrupt movements, very joint bodies and a lot of stepping between each other legs. Yeah. So when Bernie and Serena are dancing Tango together you automatically feel like a voyeur, Tango is also called ‘horizontal sex’. You might want to watch somebody dance tango to understand this scene better. Maybe you know the Cellblock Tango from Chicago so you know what I’m talking about. Yes, it’s always like that.
> 
>  
> 
> The following two sentences were provided by Savannah, (exquisitelywicked on Tumblr), because I am a blabbering idiot sometimes. Thank you so much darling!  
> They embraced once more and prepared themselves for physically and mentally for the most sensual dance that could be done outside of the bedroom. Bernie straightened her posture and prepared to lead them in this dance, leaving Serena with little choice but to follow suit.
> 
> Also thanks to thepurrbutton on Tumblr for being so enthusiastic about this! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> And I also hope that each one of you has enjoyed it! 
> 
> I will probably add a fourth chapter with mature content in the future, I have not finished writing it, but I wanted to get those three chapters out of my drafts. =)


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